For about the millionth time i've attempted to handwrite my journal. I picked up the pen, started a few words and then set it down again. I am not sure if it were outside or internal distractions that prevented me from completing what was sure to be an antecdotal memory.
What I do know is that my son is leaving tomorrow. He is going to live with his father for quite some time. I am saddened by this. For the longest time I believed that I was all he needed to become a well-rounded, well-adjusted human being. I am sure what hurts the most is that I was wrong, however, what hurts the most is that my baby boy, my son will be setting off for a new adventure that I won't be a part of. He will make memories over the next few months that won't include me. That brings such pain.
Instead those memories will include a father that has been absent for most of his life.
The reasons to why he is leaving will remain private as it is a family matter. But it is something that I cannot handle by myself. It took a lot for me to admit that.
With his father in Georgia and myself here... it has been a long hard road. My girls seem to be doing okay though. My oldest will be graduating soon and my youngest has yet to reach that most expressive age of "teen".
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